For Each Other, With Each Other

One of my favorite podcasts, Abiding Together, has a tradition of ending each episode with a meaningful "One Thing" that they'd like to share with the audience. The hosts, Sr. Miriam James, Heather Khym, and Michelle Benzinger, often end with more than one thing, which could range from playlists, to recipes, to encounters with people or moments in prayer. Now that 2024 has come to a close and 2025 has begun, I have found that I, too, have more than one thing that has been meaningful to me in the past 12 months.

I've found some new hobbies (or rediscovered ones from my youth. I've found relaxation in learning how to crochet, picking up a good book, and entering races.

Picking up a ball of yarn and a crochet hook reminds me of my mom. I remember being little and watching her hands work create everything from tableclothes to Christmas ornaments. Her nimble hands worked quickly while she simultaneously watched her favorite soap operas. This skill has become even more impressive now that I've tried to do the same; finishing a project that would have taken her an hour at most takes me a week!

There was a time in my life when I was never without a book in my hands. I could read and read and be happy, but using busyness as an excuse, I stopped reading books for pleasure. In 2024, I set a goal of reading 50 books last year. I hit 46, but I've also explored fiction and nonfiction worlds. I've discovered themes that I've loved, some that I'll avoid in the future and others that I'm willing to give another shot. Maybe this year will be the year that I hit that 50 books goal.

I've continued to (try) running. I entered Bloomsday and have tried to make it a habit to get moving every day. I'm not always successful, but I feel much better when I get my daily steps in. Being outside has been surprisingly satisfying, and I've noticed that God surprises me with gifts of sunsets in a way I never asked for but always appreciate.

I've learned what it means to start a project and finish it, even when it's hard. I saw over 100 youth be confirmed while also earning a Certificate in Spiritual Direction from Divine Mercy University. I've seen both of these endeavors bear fruit. Walking with people in their joys and sufferings remind me to reverence the sacred ground of the human soul that comes before me.

I've been blessed by a lot this year. But I think that the one thing that I've found to be most rewarding stems from a speech that Kirby Smart, Head Coach of the Georgia Bulldogs Football Team, addressed towards the team: "For each other and with each other." I rode the highs and lows of this year's football season. I felt the excitement and nerves of eight overtimes against our in state rival and a SEC championship win. I also felt the disappointment of dropped passes and a playoff loss where we were outplayed and outcoached. But even then, those seven words stuck with me: "For each other and with each other."

I'm not always a fan of hearing the words "community" and being told that I need to be in community to be happy. I know I'm not meant to walk through life alone, but there are also times when the last thing I need is some hackneyed quote about how we're made for community. So why did this one hit differently?

I've long treasured the great gift of my family who gave me life growing up. My mom has told stories about how the doctors thought I would have all kinds of birth defects. She looked for another doctor, and this year I met that doctor. I tell the stories about my siblings teasing me and how proud my dad was when I graduated from college. I've laughed reminiscing about how frequently I demanded that my sister make me bread, butter and sugar sandwiches. I've been welcomed home to the Philippines by my cousins, and meeting for regular phone calls with family reminds me of how they have loved me so well.

Maybe this year is different becauce I've felt that I'm slowly starting to learn how to love others - not just by showing up at work and celebrating important birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones. I've started to think that maybe I'm learning how to embrace the love that comes from the Cross.

I've seen these beautiful humans who I have accompanied since they were 4th graders move on to college, knowing that I've done everything I can for them and that they're ready for the next step in life - and they don't need me the way they used to. My heart bursts with pride when I see them again, and I hope they know that I'm still the same Melissa, ready with a listening ear and a snack in my backpack.

I think I'm learning what it means to give up what I want for the sake of what others want...and I think I'm being given the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the heart to love a little bit bigger than I did before. Maybe I say a version of this every year. Maybe these words don't sound new to you even if they feel different to me. It's letting someone else win even though that means you're going to lose. It's letting people spread their wings even if it means the nest will be empty. It means staying put when you want to go away. It means listening when you want to speak. It means letting someone else have the last slice of pizza that you wanted. And it means not giving up when you feel like you've given your all. I think we hear all these things and nod our heads and say, "yup...that's it." But I feel my heart growing again, and it's no longer just assent. It's also realizing your tears aren't just from the sadness or emptiness anymore...they're also from gratitude over someone else's joy and knowing it wasn't just you who helped that along. It really is an encounter with the Divine.

I think it's always beautiful to leave people pondering God and His will, but I feel like this post would fall short if I left it at this. It's not just me learning how to do this for other people. It's also receiving the light that there have been many who have done the same for me - and that's part of the reason why I haven't felt empty. Exitus, reditus. The love always comes back. And if anyone has actually read all the way to this point, I think that this is why as I enter another year of life, I want to say thank you. Even when I've felt like a loser or when I've fallen short or been torn to shreds on my worst days, thank you for being for me and with me.