ABCs of the Tri-Cities: Second Chances

Have you ever been so excited for a project that you couldn't help but assume that everyone else would be just as excited about it as you were?

I've spent many hours pitching ideas that I've thought were absolutely brilliant, shared said ideas with like-minded people and been on a road of momentum saying that there was no possible way that anyone could disagree with us. But nothing kills that momentum like a hard "no" from someone you're hoping to join in on your excitement.

This sentiment sets the stage for February 2016 when some friends and I had planned a "Galentines Day" event with food, fun, photo shoots, and gift bags. We spent weeks coming up with something special for the participants and the icing on the cake was going to be a gift bag filled with swag from local small businesses. We spent many days writing to local mom and pop shops, asking if they would like to be a part of our event by donating a coupon, small product, or even being a part of the event and talking about their business. We were moved by how generous shops (some of which are on this ABCs series) were. We got coupons for free products, a sponsor for a catered lunch, and makeup artists who volunteered to do the girls' makeup for photo shoots.

We were having a planning meeting at a local restaurant that I had first tried out in Walla Walla, Washington, which is just down the road from the Tri-Cities. The food was as good as I remembered: fresh ingredients, flavorful soup, filling sandwiches and salads. I was looking forward to meeting up at Graze because their bahn mi sandwich had become a favorite of mine. Who wouldn't go for a sandwich with tender meat, pickled vegetables, crusty bread, and jalapenos?

Towards the end of our meeting, we decided to leave one of our donation letters with the manager. We had thought that if we enjoyed the meal so much, maybe the Galentines participants would also like it. It didn't take too long for us to get a response. The manager had emailed the leader of the event with a sarcastic response that felt like he was mocking us. Of course we were disappointed by not securing their support, but beyond that, we were turned off by the snarky response. We had other businesses also decline to participate in our event, but they remained encouraging or at the very worst (until that point), just didn't respond. Our event leader came out of it saying, "I don't ever want to go there again."

And isn't that a common response to circumstances that aren't going our way? I know I've struggled with it a lot more than I'd like to admit. I think it's only natural when we have vocations or occupations that deal with a lot of face time with a lot of people. Criticisms and resistence and incidents when it's clear that no one is listening have made me want to give up more than once, to leave people to their own devices, to withdraw my support. I've grappled with being generous and charitable and taking care of my own needs and mental health. I've wondered, "Why even try when no one else is?"

But I've also had a moment of inspiration, looking back on times when I've been the one who dealt out unreasonable challenges and sharp criticisms to others - and I've been the recipient of a second chance. I think of the many times I've spent in the confessional and received mercy instead of judgment. I think of the times when I've had the grace to ask for forgiveness after hurting a friend and the relief after those encounters. Who am I to deny that to others? More often than not, I think people want to rise to the occasion. Most people aren't trying to be unpleasant. Most people just need to try again.

And sure, making the decision to go back to a restaurant that snubbed you once is different from approaching a friend who has hurt you to the core. But as we say in the Christian life, "Grace builds upon nature" and more coloquially, "Practice makes perfect." It's never a bad idea to try again, to bury the hatchet, and enjoy the goodness that comes from giving someone a second chance...and if all else fails, you can always enjoy a good sandwich...and a brownie.