The One Question I'm Asking People this Year

Check out this gorgeous location...perfect for a retreat!

I was recently asked to help with a staff retreat for one of the local Catholic schools, and after praying about it, I accepted the invitation.

My opinion on retreats hasn't always been a good one, mostly because up until a certain point, my retreat experiences were heavy with silly games and social activity that made me uncomfortable and just didn't fill me. I started to embrace the retreat experience more when they were focused on quiet time, reflection, and prayer. When I was given the schedule for this particular retreat, I was eager to be a part of it. The focus was on preparing for the school year and centering ourselves on prayer so that we are better equipped to be Christ to our students.

At one point, we had the chance to sit on our own and come up with a mission statement for ourselves to put on our desks or in our classrooms. As I was reflecting my heart came alive with one question that I want to ask everyone who I minister to this year:

What is God doing in your life?

In ministry, I think there's a tendency to want to just jump into a person's life to start ministering right away.

We see a teen who is entering her senior year in high school? We want to help find the nearest Newman Center for the upcoming move to college.

We see a best friend get engaged?

We want to help plan the wedding and pray for the upcoming marriage.

We see a family preparing to move to a new place?

We ask them if they need help packing...and then volunteer our friend who has a pickup truck.

When we are eager to minister without asking where a person is in the journey, it's so easy to forget that God is already present in all of those situations. In short, our ministry becomes more about what we can do to help instead of an invitation to see who God is in our lives and in the world. Sometimes He's working tirelessly in ways we can barely imagine. Sometimes He is sitting quietly on the sidelines as He coaches us in a way that only He can. Sometimes He's at the door of our hearts, knocking and waiting to be invited in.

Reflecting on this question has made me realize that it is important to ask myself this question as well. If I don't know what God is doing in my own life, then how can I possibly have a relationship with Him and understand what He may be doing in someone else's life? And if I don't have a picture of what God is doing in someone's life, how can I possibly walk with him or her as a disciple?

Now, I have to admit that this question about what God is doing in our lives is just a variation of what my spiritual director, the great Fr. Auve, would always ask me: "Melissa, how's your prayer life?" I spoke on the topic of prayer with the retreatants and shared my prayer life with them (including when I said that the psalms felt like the "throwaway part of the Mass," which was met with a stern look from Fr. Auve followed by the command that I start praying the Liturgy of the Hours...and now there is no going back). The point is that without knowing God, we will fail. We could complete 3000 hours of community service and memorize the Bible front to back, but if we don't have an authentic and intimate relationship with Christ, we can't possibly find peace.

So, whether it's in your families, your schools, or among your friends, can you ask people this question about what God is doing in their lives? (I guarantee you will get at least some great stories!) And also, can you ask me this question from time to time? It will serve as a reminder of where I ought to keep my focus in the upcoming year.

Also, I have a big week coming up, so please pray for me!