Tell Your Own Story

I was once watching (streaming) a national singing competition on TV (Hulu), and one of the contestants had just finished a mediocre performance. Of course he still took his bow and the audience clapped politely. But the judges were shaking their heads and one of them said, "Not your best performance. You are talented. Don't you dare come out here and tell someone else's story."

Several years later, that critique has stuck with me. As I scroll through pages and posts of social media, I am confused by how many people adopt personas that aren't their own. Sometimes people are unrecognizable from their profiles, and I would never know it was them if it weren't for pictures of THEIR faces and words coming out of THEIR mouths. Thoughts like "Why are you cursing online when you NEVER curse in person?" or "Why are you defending (or putting down) something that you would never defend in real life?" or "Why are you behaving like that on Friday and in a completely different way on Sunday?" and worst of all, "WHO ARE YOU?!" run through my head more often than I would like to admit. Now don't get me wrong. I get that sometimes certain circumstances call for different postures (ie: I don't expect you to sit primly and properly at a football game), but when there is such a sharp contrast in personality, I have to question it: What's so bad about who YOU are and YOUR story?

My one conclusion is that there's too much concern about what the person next to you is doing. Much like 7th grade religion class, somehow someone else's test looks more appealing than yours and you ignore the teacher's command to keep your eyes on your own paper! And that never bodes well for anyone. While it may seem ok as long as you don't get yourself caught, you're cheating yourself out of a better experience.

Today I was cleaning out some of my drawers and came across memory boxes and albums filled with photos from middle school, high school and college. I also came across a bundle of journals documenting some of my most embarrassing moments. Some of them made me shake my head and others made me laugh uncontrollably. Even in the Marie Kondo era of decluttering, I found it hard to just toss all of this stuff. Why? Because those memories, no matter how awkward, are a part of my story. And I wouldn't give them up for anything in the world.

Sure there have been times when I've looked over the shoulders of my family members, colleagues, or friends, peered at their stories and thought, "Wouldn't it be nice if I had their lives?" But here's the thing. I haven't lived their lives, so those pages wouldn't mean nearly as much to me as my own do. Even words that I have tried to erase somehow make it back to the book that is my life. I can see the spots where I rubbed an eraser so hard that it tore through the page, and I find it remarkable that the story still goes on even though there are spots that don't look pretty.

I think that we all have a box (whether literal or figurative) of photos and written memories somewhere in our lives. Sometimes there's a voice that speaks to us and says, "It's time." That's when we know we're ready to dust off the pages and crack the books open so we can share our stories. And when we are lucky, we find people who want to hear them.

***On a somewhat separate note, I am so excited to start a new writing project! One of my goals for 2019 was to write more often, more regularly and more creatively.

Does anyone else remember those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books from elementary school? I remember going to the school library and wanting to be the first one to check them out because they always went fast! In an attempt to stretch my creativity, I am attempting to write based on the choose your own adventure premise. I posted in my Instagram stories earlier this week polling my followers to pick a character, setting, time period, and conflict. Given the results of the poll, I'll be writing about a gullible student in New Orleans in the 1960s dealing with a missing child. I have already started on the short story and can't wait to share it! Please follow me on Instagram (@extrasweetmelissa) to participate in future "Choose Your Adventure" stories!***