You Can Hear it in the Silence.
- Melissa Montenegro
- Nov 6, 2018
- 4 min read
300+ kids. What are we going to do with 300+ kids? It was a question that was in my mind in the hours before our 2018 Diocesan Youth Convention. I have to admit that even though I tried my best to put on a brave face, the prospect of being surrounded with that many teens was bringing me a lot of anxiety. Handling registrations? Easy. Fielding questions about what these kids needed to bring? Piece of cake! But actually putting faces with those electronic registrations was another story.
I had a little bit of time during which I could prepare myself for the storm that was coming, and I used it as any good introvert would. I took a nap. I woke up to the taunting ding of my cell phone by my side: a last minute email from an unknown parent. Was it too late to register? In my brave attempt to be charitable, I responded that I would make a few phone calls and try to make some last minute arrangements. I should have seen it as foreshadowing of what was to come: unexpected surprises.
There is something comical about ordering 700 tacos and 35 pounds of rice for dinner, but let me tell you...preparing an event for 300+ people is no joke. Add in the fact that most of these kids are people who I have never met before in my life. It was enough to make me want to find a corner, lay down and die.
But I'm blogging this now, so clearly that isn't what happened.
The theme for this year's DYC was "Fact or Fiction: Fake News vs. the Good News," and the focus was on filtering all of the information that creeps into our ears at all hours of the day and filtering it through the truth that only comes from the Cross. The weekend featured talks from speakers who focused on taking what the media gives us and bringing it back to the truth that can only be realized when we look at the Cross.
If this weekend was just about talks and music, it would have been just like any other convention. But it wasn't like any other weekend. Why? Because I didn't feel the presence of God while I was there. And I didn't realize why until later in the weekend when one of the speakers asked the youth a question:
What did you get out of this weekend?
One by one teens recounted stories about making new friends, going to confession, enjoying praise and worship. All of the typical responses. And then one more brave youth stepped up to the mic and captured exactly what I didn't feel:
"What I enjoyed most this weekend was the times when I got to pray and experience God's presence in the silence."
That was it. That was where I was falling short. In the midst of the roaring crowd and fanfare of the music, I forgot that God reaches out to me in the silence, and even if I couldn't find the quiet in that crowded room, He was still present in the silence of my heart.
In that moment, I realized that nothing else mattered but Him. There were bright lights, loud music and the constant chatter of teens until the wee hours of the morning. All the things I felt I had to attend to when all I wanted was quiet time to speak to God and hear His voice.
Pardon my reference, but I heard some lyrics from Taylor Swift that captured this feeling:
You can hear it in the silence, silence, you You can feel it on the way home, way home, you You can see it with the lights out, lights out You are in love, true love You are in love
In the silence. On the way home. With the lights out. That's when I feel God's presence and His love envelops me. In this yearning for intimacy, I know what's coming: I know I'll fall in love all over again - and nothing else will matter. As I sit and type this in the middle of a *not quiet* coffee shop, I am reminded of St. Augustine:
Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so new: late have I loved you. And see, you were within and I was in the external world and sought you there, and in my unlovely state I plunged into those lovely created things which you made. You were with me, and I was not with you. The lovely things kept me far from you, though if they did not have their existence in you, they had no existence at all. You called and cried out loud and shattered my deafness. You were radiant and resplendent, you put to flight my blindness. You were fragrant, and I drew in my breath and now pant after you. I tasted you, and I feel but hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am set on fire to attain the peace which is yours.
My cravings can't be satisfied by earthly "lovely things." Concert hall music, bright lights and even the best tacos ever will always fall short. Sure, those things had a time and place in my life, but now that I've experienced something deeper than that, I know that there is no turning back. Once you've fallen in love, there is no turning back. The things that used to satisfy you are no longer enough because you have found the One who is, who was and always will be more than enough.
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